One day, a Tuesday I think it was a man was seen outside a garage in Woking eating a bacon roll. It was around 8:30 am and the garage was still closed, there was a big puddle of oil at the side of the door that the man was half standing in. He seemed anxious to get in and was pitter pattering in the oil.
A few miles down the road was Guildford, and in Guildford was a field and a pond, in this pond were some ducks. These ducks were in the middle of the 3m by 3m pond and were still. At this time, a large white Swan appeared from some reeds behind them and splashed into the water. The ducks were gone now and the Swan sat floating still in the middle of the pond in the middle of the field.
It was now 9am, the man was still looking impatient at the garage, a man around the age of 24 turned up in overalls and unlocked the front door immediately shutting it again. The man outside in the oil seemed annoyed. The 24 year old man spent 10 minutes inside before he flipped the closed sign to say open. At this point the man outside tried the handle. It was locked. The man knocked on the door repeatedly but couldn't get the 24 year olds attention.
Meanwhile, back at the pond, the swan was still floating in the middle of it. The ducks had long gone. The swan then got out of the water and waddled across the field towards the road.
The 24 year old at the garage opened the door eventually and the man walked inside. He wanted to know where the car paint was so he could paint his car Black, from purple. The 24 year old said sorry we haven't got any paint today. Instead the man asked for some varnish as he was trying to sell his car. The 24 year old gave him some 'nAvv' varnish straight from russia, strength 2. The man also wanted a replacement handle for his cars passenger side door which had the tendency to come un-shut occasionally when moved (the man didn't have many friends, so no one really used the door) but the 24 year old said sorry no again. The man said thank you and walked out of the garage.
The swan was at the road now and stepped up onto it, this road was full of stationary traffic so the swan just wandered through the middle of it along the road.
The man got into his car, placed his varnish on the passenger seat and set off. He joined the road and immediately was stuck in traffic, moving at 5mph consistently. The varnish was rolling around on the passenger seat. The man was wary of it but due to his slow speed he ignored it. The traffic then suddenly stopped and the man stopped his car abruptly.
The swan however was motoring ahead weaving between the cars coming up to a junction where cars on the swans road couldn't seem to join. The swan continued to waddle forward and hopped onto the road, by this time the swan was tired and decided to settle down for a sit, much like it was doing in the pond.
The mans sudden braking had caused the varnish to fall off of the seat and onto the floor of his car, he didn't realise until his heating circulated the smell up to his nostrils. The man bend over angrily to mop up as best he could the sticky smelly varnish but the traffic started moving again so he had to continue his journey.
The swan was still sitting on the road.
The mans car was moving slowly, but it was fast enough to make the tin of varnish leak even more. This was a strange situation. It got even stranger when, as the man looked up from aiding to his sticky mess, he saw what looked like a nicely scultped plastic bag on the road. As the man and his smelly car got closer to the bag, he realised that it wasn't a bag, but a swan.
The swan was still in the road, but was not looking uneasy as it saw an old, purple car with some liquid leaking out of the side door coming towards it. The swan, not wanting to disturb its own peace thought nothing of it and remained in the road.
The man, along with other slow passing drivers looked puzzled at this swans interesting behaviour but thought, oh well, its just a swan in the road. By this time the traffic started to slow again so the man decided to start swabbing at the floor of his car with an old shirt again.
The swan looked stern at the long length of traffic, the purple leaking car was now quite near the swan.
The man was still swabbing away, he undid his seatbelt too. He put the 3/4 empty tin of varnish on the dashboard.
The swan had noticed the traffic had moved ahead of the purple car so got up in anticipation of crossing the rest of the half of road.
The man still swabbing casually looked up to see the traffic had sped off and left him, so naturally he put his foot on the gas attempting to catch up with the traffic.
The swan put one foot forward to move when suddenly the purple car pelted forward
The mans car flung forward, sending the tin of varnish flying at the passenger door, causing the door to nudge open
The swan put its foot back down as the cars purple door unclicked itself and a gush of varnish flooded the area around the swan, the speed of the car pushing the swan to the ground.
The man driving sped up with the traffic realising his door had swung open slammed it shut and continued his journey.
The swan wasn't happy so it unstuck its moist backside from the tarmac and chased the car
The traffic was easing off now as the traffic light turned green and the man was able to get some speed up
The swan gathered some speed too and took off dripping varnish all over the road and cars below
The man went across the traffic lights and turned into a side road
The swan saw the red car leaving a trail of varnish much like itself turn into a side road
The man turned again and into a car park, parking his car
The swan saw the car stop in a car park
The man, oblivious to the angry swan turned off his engine and got out of his car
The swan saw the man get out of the car and started its dissent in attack mode
The man went round to the passenger side to inspect the damage done to his car door
The swan was getting closer and saw the man standing at the passenger side of the door inspecting the damage done to his car door
The man studied the top of his car before realising the glimmering shine to the bottom of his cars door
The swan saw the man look at his car door and was about 20 ft away travelling fast
The man, in the reflection noticed something in his teeth so sharply bent down to have a look
At this point the swan was flying right towards the mans head, his head shot down quickly and the swan went flying towards the ground
The man removed the bit of bacon fat from his teeth, got up, locked his car, turned around and discovered another swan on the road just sitting there perfectly still, almost as if it was stuck in position.
That's how the swan got to be in the Car Park, who'd of thought!
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